MOVING DAY

Last month I downsized, moving out of the home in which I had lived and raised my family for twenty years.  It was time to make the move for a multitude of reasons. I was warned by several people that I would miss the house, but surprisingly I haven’t found that to be the case.

            Yes, I miss the house but the house I miss is the house of a decade ago before Rick became ill. The house where we threw great barbeques and parties with music filtering outside to the pool. The house neighborhood kids drifted in and out of. The house where we had huge, memorable New Years Eve parties. While it is true that house no longer exists for me, my memories are with me forever.

            The move was as horrific as everyone said it would be. After months of sifting through the garage, donating, tossing, packing, we were still left with way too much ‘stuff’. I’m not speaking of furniture. That was manageable. It’s the stuff we hold on to through the years: The kids’ artwork, the old greeting cards, the toys (yes, I still had plenty of my grown children’s toys), the memorabilia, the files, etc. So I gave away, donated, and tossed more.

            Finally the weekend of the move arrived along with temperatures ranging from 101 – 106.  I’m not at my finest hour in hot weather and moving just exacerbated the situation.  Between the movers and some very, very helpful friends and family, the move was completed. 

            As I stared at cartons reaching to the ceiling, I decided that some ‘stuff’ would remain in boxes, stored in closets. If and when I move again, I’ll have a head start.

            Here are a few tips for those contemplating a big move:

. Buy lots and lots of tape and boxes…more than you think you’ll need.

. Start getting rid of things early on – garage sales, donations (if you know any young people starting out they’ll be grateful for many of your discards).

. Very important. Pack a separate bag as if you’re going on an overnight trip. In it, place the immediate essentials (ie. appt. book, phone charger, remote controls, make-up, medicine, etc.) You think you’ll remember where you packed things.  Trust me, you won’t.

. Don’t only label the boxes by room; list the content or as much of it as you can.

. Register your change of address with the post office as soon as possible and make any other changes, closing down utility accounts, etc.

. Bring over breakables yourself as much as you are able to (this includes lamps, mirrors, knick-knacks).

. Feed your movers. (And supply lots of bottled water).

. Don’t try to tackle everything at once when you first move in. It will take a few weeks to settle in.

Thanks for joining me on Rhodes Less Traveled,  Vivian

The Jewish New Year

Hi everyone:

I'm back.

Haven't posted on my blog for the past several weeks. I moved and I've been busy settling in (something I'll discuss in a future blog).

I thought that to celebrate the beginning of Rosh Hashonah, the Jewish New Year I'd attach a link to a blog I wrote for The Four Seasons Hotel, Westlake Village: http://family.fourseasons.com/2012/09/to-me-rosh-hashanah-means-new-beginnings-evolving-traditions-brisket%E2%80%94and-family/

L'shana tova (Happy New Year) to all.

Vivian

MOVING

I did not get to post a blog this past week and probably will not get to post again for the next few weeks. Things are a little chaotic at the moment; I’m in the process of moving.

            Moving is considered one of the most stressful times in a person’s life. Right there along side of death in the family and divorce.  My family and I have lived in this house for twenty years. That’s a lot of memory, both good and bad. Mostly good.

            After my husband’s death six and a half years ago, I chose to remain in the house with my son and daughter. We had had enough upheaval for a lifetime and, I believed, we needed this time to heal and regroup.

            Now, with my daughter having moved out and about to get married and with my son on his way, with one foot out the door, the big family home has served its purpose.

            When I informed friends and family that I was going to downsize, I received mixed reactions. Most people understood and encouraged me in taking this next step. Others were, understandably, sentimental about the parties and good times associated with my home.  But unfortunately one can’t remain frozen in time to satisfy the fond memories of other people, as cherished as those memories may be.

            Moving is not easy under any circumstances but going through memorabilia and photos is particularly emotional when you’ve lost a loved one. Also, deciding what to keep, what to donate, what to toss….not easy either.

            Still, with the help of friends and family I’m doing it. At various times I find myself feeling anxious, excited, sad, and hopeful. Cleansing one’s garage is extremely cathartic. We all have way, way too much and can make do with a lot less than we think we can.  I’ll still hold on to the special collectibles, to the precious baby mementos, but, truthfully, I’m looking forward to simplifying my life.

            I’ll be posting again as soon as I get settled. Wish me luckJ

Thanks for joining me on RHODES LESS TRAVELED,

Vivian

           

L.A.'S CHINATOWN

This past month I’ve been privileged to teach two English classes on the Cal Lutheran University campus. It’s part of a program called Upward Bound, which helps high school students, from various parts of Los Angeles, needing that extra leg up. The kids are terrific and it’s been an extremely rewarding experience.

            Yesterday, my teaching assistant and I were permitted to “tag along” as our students, who are also taking a class in Chinese culture, were brought to Chinatown by their two instructors.

            I haven’t been to L.A.’s Chinatown in ages and going by bus rather than having to drive was a particular treat for me. (I’ve always enjoyed bus and train rides --- allows one time to space out).

            When we arrived, we went immediately to a temple. Here, we approached the alter (laden with offerings such as meat and fresh fruit) and partook in a custom involving sticks, stones, and luck.  Fortunately, the number I chose was a lucky one (at least that’s the interpretation I received).

            From there we did some shopping at a nearby plaza and visited a local grocery store. There were an assortment of teas, dried shrimp, and just about anything you’d expect to find at an Asian market.

            We dined at a restaurant called Empress Pavilion where apparently President Clinton and President Bush both dined (at different times I’m assuming).

            The food was ordered for us by our knowledgeable teachers, Christina and Debbie, and it was a feast: numerous appetizers, main courses, and side dishes (noodles, dim sum, lemon chicken, shrimp etc.)

            We shopped a little more and then it was time to return to our ‘normal lives’.

            As I looked around at women walking by,  carrying umbrellas to shield them from the sun, I was reminded how diverse Los Angeles is.

Have a great weekend, and thanks for joining me on Rhodes Less Traveled.

Vivian

THE REAGAN LIBRARY'S DISNEY EXHIBIT

This weekend was a particularly busy one for me and I neglected to write a blog.  I am still pressed for time but my obsessive nature won't allow me to just skip writing one even for one week.

This, then, will be brief.  I merely want to mention the wonderful time I had this past weekend. I brought my daughter's future in-laws and her fiance, as my guests, to the Ronald Reagan Library in Simi Valley.  For those who have never been there I strongly recommend it.  The exhibit itself is fantastic, the docents are knowledgeable, and the view is absolutely spectacular. (Regardless of your political persuasion, it's a trip worth taking).

Aside from the ongoing Reagan exhibit, there is always an adjunct exhibit (Among the exhibits I've seen are: dresses worn by former First Ladies, exercise equipment used by various presidents, a Harley motorcycle exhibit, and the entire collection of the works of Norman Rockwell). Every Christmas, Christmas trees are displayed. Formerly, they represented various countries; more recently they've started displaying Christmas trees that represent decades in America's history.

The adjunct exhibit we attended this weekend was one promoted by Disney fans;  on display was an amazing array of Disney memorabilia: props, costumes, animation --- anything that would tempt a Disneyphile (and who amongst us is not)?

The Disney exhibit will be running through next April so put it on your calendar.  Aside from a walk through Air Force One, make sure to visit the gift shop where one can find a huge assortment of jelly beans, President Reagan's favorite candy.

Thanks for joining me on Rhodes Less Traveled,

Vivian

MAYBERRY, U.S.A.

“The Fishin’ Hole”, the whistled theme song of The Andy Griffith Show, is arguably one of the most recognizable television themes of all time.  Like the show itself, the theme, written by Earle Hagen, Everett Sloan, and Herbert Spencer, is easy going and breezy.

            With the passing of the much loved and admired Andy Griffith earlier this week, I began to reflect on the appeal of Mayberry, the imaginary town where the show was set.

            Mayberry, North Carolina was situated in close proximity to Raleigh; it was at least within easy driving distance.  Griffith played country-wise, Sheriff Andy Taylor, whose sensible outlook on life was in direct contrast to his excitable, know-it-all, deputy, Barney Fife (played to perfection by Don Knotts).  Rounding out the ensemble were characters we felt we knew, such as: Aunt Bea, Floyd the Barber, Otis the town drunk, and the Pyle cousins, Gomer and Goober.  Andy’s son Opie (played by future director, Ron Howard) literally grew up on the show.

            So what was its appeal?

            My mother loved The Andy Griffith Show.  Born and raised in New York City, she greatly appreciated the depiction of small town Southern living, circa the early 60’s. Of course, we watched the show through rose tinted glasses:  there was no racism in Mayberry (truth be told, there appeared to be few blacks living there).  If a resident suffered from cancer we were unaware of it; the worst illness spoken of was a slight touch of bursitis.  And the crime rate in Mayberry was nearly non-existent, so much so that the sheriff didn’t even carry a gun (though Barney did keep a single bullet in his pocket in case of an ‘emergency’).

            This begs the question, was it wrong to portray a town like Mayberry in such an idealized fashion?  One could say that it was no worse than creating fantasies of the typical American family with shows such as Leave It to Beaver, and Father Knows Best.

            We turned a cultural corner in the late sixties and early seventies and comedy became ‘realer’ with shows such as All in the Family and Maude, but at the same time shows  became more cynical. Like a bucket of water being suddenly dumped over our collective heads, we were more or less forced to abandon our innocence.

            Perhaps this is why The Andy Griffith Show holds a place in the hearts of so many, as does its star, the late Andy Griffith.

Hope you're enjoying your weekend. Thanks for joining me on RHODES LESS TRAVELED.

Vivian

BRIGHTON BEACH "MEMORIES"

Summer.  Coppertone.  The Beach Boys.  The ice-cream truck (growing up in New York we waited for the Good Humor Man or Mr. Softee to show up on alternate evenings).

            And then, of course, there was the beach.

            Where I grew up, in N.Y., that meant Brighton Beach. (Occasionally, people drove to Jones Beach or to Rockaway Beach but my recollections are of Brighton Beach). Laying on the sand at Brighton, one could look up and see the roller coasters and the parachute drop at nearby Coney Island.

            The beach itself was divided by stations, or bays as they were called. (Bay #1, Bay #2, and so on).  People had their favorite bays and clustered to them according to their particular affiliation, such as the school they attended. There was a bay predominated by Italians, by Jews, by gays.

            Rather than a lemonade stand, men, dressed in casual attire, would stroll the sand, carrying their treats and shouting “get your ice cold orange-aide, get your hot knishes” (for those unfamiliar, a knish is a potato delicacy).

            In June, just before school let out, blankets would be strewn with ‘Regents Exam’ study guides. Regents Exams were exit exams covering a multitude of subjects, given by the state of New York to all graduating seniors before they were permitted to graduate.

            Folks arrived at Brighton Beach and Coney Island in droves to watch the 4^th of July fireworks.

            I recall one time in the seventies, when people were devouring Jaws, the blockbuster novel by Peter Benchley; fewer swimmers dipped their toes into the waters of the Atlantic that summer.

            Speaking of the Atlantic – when I relocated to the West Coast two things struck me about the Pacific Ocean: there seemed to be more debris, rocks and shells, on the ocean floor and the water was much, much colder than that of the Atlantic.

            Which ever beach is close to you, I hope you’ll be relaxing on it some time soon, placing a sea shell to your ear and listening to the ocean’s waves.

Have a great weekend whatever you do,

Vivian