Friday, October 7, 2011


            Men have probably been pitching bad pick up lines since Fred Flintstone asked Wilma if she’d like to “go behind a rock and get a little ‘boulder’”.   Some pick up lines work, if the intended target hasn’t already heard them many times before which is usually not the case.
            As I mentioned when I first began blogging, I only re-entered the dating scene a few years ago, after my husband passed away. I had been happily married for twenty-three years and the whole ritual of dating seemed a lifetime ago. 
            Incredibly, some of the same lines that were offered up in my youth are still around. (“Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?”) Others have become popular as times have changed. “Do you work out?” is probably one of the lines used most frequently these days but only became popular, I suspect, in the past ten to twenty years. Before that, it wasn’t mandatory that everyone belong to a gym (and by the way, it’s interesting to note here that “running” or “jogging” only became a national pastime with the success of the first Rocky movie.)
            Why use a pre-rehearsed line in the first place?  Some might say it’s worth playing the odds. If a line has worked for a man in one instance, he’ll likely use it again. His thinking is probably that if he uses it on twenty-five woman, perhaps at least one of the twenty-five will be responsive. 
            But why not come up with your own line rather than one that’s made the rounds over the years?  Simply put, some people are just not that creative. Or confident. Maybe they don’t think that saying, “Hi, I’m Sam. May I join you?” or “Can I buy you a drink?” will get them very far. Of course many men do just that but others still feel they need to rely on pick-up lines.
(A side note men: Most women are responsive to a man who is not cheap (doesn’t stiff the waitress) and who makes her feel as though she’s the only woman in the room (doesn’t oogle the waitress). Mind you a woman needs to be wary, keeping in mind that extreme generosity and coming on strong are also the attributes of a “player”.)
            A little empathy is in order here for the male gender. After all, even in this day and age it is generally the man who makes the first overture and with the first overture comes the risk of rejection. And women don’t always help the cause. I’ve seen women turn down a man who has asked for a dance, then agree to dance with someone else two seconds later. Not very classy. I’ve always had a policy of dancing (if only once) with someone who has gathered up the nerve to ask me. It’s only a dance. Is it really worth hurting someone’s feelings over a simple dance? Of course, if a guy feels rejected when you don’t want to pursue things, that’s another matter and not your fault.
            I can’t begin to imagine the pick-up lines women would come up with if the tables were turned, but I’ve gathered a few of the worst pick up lines used by men. (It would be interesting to know whether these were just lines used by American men, or whether these lines are universal).

.   Do you know the difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Okay, do you want to go somewhere and talk?

.   Just call me milk; I’ll do your body good.

.   You must be Jamaican, because you’re Jamaican me crazy.

.   So what should we have for breakfast?

.   I hope there’s a fireman around, ‘cause you’re smokin’.

.   You just made my floppy disk turn into a hard drive.

.   You’re like a parking ticket…you’ve got FINE written all over you. (A variation of you’re like a broom…you’ve swept me off my feet).

.   If you turn me down, would you mind introducing me to your friend?

.   Do you practice karate?  ‘Cause your body’s kickin'.

.   You remind me of my third wife. (How many times have you been married?) Twice.

.   I'm not really this tall; I'm sitting on my wallet.

.   If I said you had a great body would you hold it against me? (This one’s been around for ages).

Well, that’s it. Please feel free to add to this list…I know there are many more good ones.

Have a great weekend and thank you for joining me along,




  1. Other lines:

    You know what L like best about you? (What?) My arms.

    A line for women from "Two and a Half men": Do you know what has multiple orgasms and hums? (What?) Hmmmm.

  2. Not to be a nitpicker, but when you said "oogle the waitress" I think you meant ogle the waitress. If you're oogling the waitress it means she responded to your pickup line and you're in a Chevy by the levy playing around in the back seat.

  3. You're absolutely right. Forgive my typo. This way, the end results would probably be better for the pickup artist (though not his date),wouldn't it?:)

  4. The worst one I ever got hit with was, "How do you like to be treated?"

    "Like a lady, of course!"

    "So, what color are your panties?"

    (Fortunately, this was a chat on Yahoo messenger which immediately ended with DELETE and Block.)

  5. "Hi, what's your name?"

    Susan. And yours?

    "John. "In England I have a dog named 'Susie'. It's a very common name for dogs there."

    Great, I love dogs and now please excuse me while I visit the john.